Domestic Violence and Saying “Enough”
Ann Jones, in Battering: Who’s Going to Stop It, states that battering alone is now the single leading cause of injury to women in the United States (483). Some may be surprised at this fact because a few myths still remain about violence against women. Jones discusses these myths and in “Countdown” by Lanett Fisher-Hertz, a detailed depiction of an abusive relationship shows that our ideas about domestic violence are often skewed. First, It is easy to assume that batterers are monstrous men who could intimidate a lion, but many studies prove otherwise about the psyches of abusive men. Second, it is easy to look on and ask ourselves, “Why doesn’t she just say ENOUGH and get out?!” According to Jones and according to the film Enough, fear and the relationship itself often keep women trapped and the court system doesn’t offer enough support.
Violence becomes a complex issue, Jones argues, because domestic violence is exactly that –domestic. The batterer, whether a boyfriend or husband, is presumably someone the woman cared for, trusted, felt secure with and protected by. In the film Enough, the victim, Slim (JLo), experiences several years of comfort within her marriage to Mitch. He is a loving husband and father, seemingly dedicated to respectful of his wife. We often overlook this truth about men who beat women and resort to the accepted image of a vile, violent, constantly angry man. On the contrary, these men can be very put-together, very intelligent, and very charming. Jones writes, “People still mistakenly believe that batterers are somehow different from ordinary men –that they are ‘crazy’ men with short fuses who lose control of themselves and blow up (especially under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”
Both Jones and Fisher-Hertz prove that when it comes down to it, violence against women is purely about power and control. It doesn’t have to be alcohol induced and it doesn’t have to involve an angry man with a short fuse. A man’s violence is driven by a need to control a woman and make her do what he wants. “A man of any age,” says Jones, “threatens, intimidates, abuses, and batters a woman to make her do what he wants. And it works. He gets his way and as a bonus he gets a heady rush of experiencing his own power.”
The first time that Mitch abuses Slim in the film Enough, it is because she was becoming a threat to him and was showing it verbally. In this clip she is calling him out on his affair with another woman, screaming that she would NOT stand for being mistreated. In this scene, you can feel Slim’s power and determination as she makes a stand…this does not settle well with Mitch. It is obvious that he does not hit her in order to outlet some of his anger or his guilt –he hits her to regain control over the situation. He actually remains quite calm as he speaks to her, explaining exactly why she needed to be “kept in line”, why she deserves the violence and intimidation. It would take several more violent encounters with her husband for Slim to take the brave steps toward escaping the relationship. In the film, she ultimately gets what many real-life victims of domestic abuse never do -justice.
Discussion Questions
1. Mitch tells Slim in the clip, “I make the money here, so I set the rules right? It’s my rules.” What is the connection between typical gender norms and domestic violence? Is violence initiated when women “break the rules”?
2. What makes it difficult for women to say “enough!”? Even if an abused woman can muster the courage, and determination, what holds her back? (thinking about the Fisher-Herz piece)
3. Jones writes, “As things stand now, it’s still up to the woman to make the system respond. It takes time, money, courage, and determination to get a result that looks like justice. (487)” How can the system better respond to and change things in order to better support and represent these women who are trapped by abusive relationships?
