Men in Battered Women’s Shelters
According to Ann Jones, “never before in history has there been such an organization of crime victims united to rescue other victims and prevent further crimes” (486). Battered women’s shelters are saving thousands of lives daily by providing security and assistance towards recovery for abused women and children, and the battered women’s movement “has brought battering out of the private household and into the spotlight of public debate.
Recently, however, the oldest battered women’s shelter in New England began taking heat for it’s “gender-neutral” structuring policies, according to Wendy McElroy in this article. When Transition House decided that it would not discriminate against men in its search for a new executive director and additionally appointed a male interim director, many “”women-only feminists” [who] believe males should be precluded from major employment and entry at shelters” took offense. According to these feminists, “the shelter must be a space where ‘women could feel safe from male intrusion and openly unburden themselves of the experiences of male violence … without fear of censure, criticism or inhibition by male presence’” (McELroy). A similar belief is the driving force behind the denial of male children over 12-years-old to battered women’s shelters, a policy that is popularly assumed across the nation.
On one hand, the opinion expressed by these feminists makes sense, as quite often “female domestic violence victims have been so brutalized by the men in their lives that a mere male presence may well terrify them”, thereby defeating the purpose of the institution. Furthermore, many anti-men feminists see domestic abuse as the direct result of “general societal oppression of women as a class by men as a class” (McElroy), making all men inherently a part of the problem and excluding them from the healing process.
On the other hand many feminists, such as McElroy, as a survivor of domestic abuse herself, refuse to allow batterers the victory of polluting the entire male gender. As McElroy explains “I refuse to dilute his responsibility by extending it to men who’ve done me no harm.” According to these feminists, victims need “exposure to non-abusive men, not isolation from all male presence, in order to heal.” These women need to see that not all men are bad, that good male/female relationships do exist, and that the ultimate solution to domestic violence will only come from understanding and respect between the genders – on both sides.
Discussion Questions:
What place do you feel men should have in the healing process of women and children? In battered women’s shelters? In the battered women’s movement? What effect and what dangers do you feel a male director in a battered women’s shelter would bring? Consider Griffin’s statement that “rape [or, in this case, abuse] can happen to any woman, and few women are ever without this knowledge” (503).
Do you agree with shelters that deny entry to abused male children over 12-years-old? If not what would be a better cut-off/criteria?
“Feminists insist that men are not animals. Instead, men are rational human beings fully capable of listening to their partners and understanding that sex isn’t about pushing someone to do something they don’t want to do.”
Many victims that find their way to battered women’s shelters are victims of domestic rape. How much do you feel the opinion in above statement (Filipovic, 20) should be incorporated into their recovery program? Is it the job of a women’s shelter to promote a greater understanding of men as a whole? Of rape and abuse? If so, should all of Griffin’s research into the male hierarchy, double standards, and greed for power through sexual domination that promotes the rape culture also be incorporated?
