Marriage as a patriarchal practice
After thinking about the patriarchal traditions in marriage that have been maintained even until today, I remembered some more that we did not have time to address in class.
1. After the the bride and groom are married, the priest or whoever marries them announces, ” I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith”. This is the epitome of patriarchy in marriage, I think, because the bride loses her identity at this point. Her name is not even mentioned, she seems to become part of her husband, a unit, or more like a possession if you ask me. Already she is giving up her last name to take on her husband’s so why should her first name be ignored when the couple is announced as married? This practice emphasizes that fact that the woman is being given away and the man is receiving her as his property.
2. Although this is becoming less common, the bride often takes on the man’s last name. While I never thought of this as patriarchal, I see now that it can not only be disrespectful to the bride but also to her family. For example, if a daughter works very hard to make her parents proud and ends up being a successful doctor (though most female doctors keep their maiden names as their practicing names), by carrying her own last name, she is contributing to her family and their success, etc. However, if she uses her husbands last name, his “clan” is basically getting all the credit. Also, tacking on male last names onto female names gives ownership. For example, this same doctor, if she has her father’, last name, is seen as his possession and represents him and his success through her. Overall, by women and girls, married or not, take on the last names of their men, they are being labelled as his possession.
3. I am not sure how many people do this but when the man takes off the wife’s garter at the wedding reception, this objectifies the woman. She sits there as her husband puts his head up her dress and bites off her garter. Not only is this strange for all the other people at her wedding to witness but it highlights the man’s sexual desire. It does not address female desire at all and is something that only pleases the man, therefore this is patriarchal. Lastly, it can also show that the man is expecting sex out of the union. It seems as though the man is thinking “OK. yeah I will go through with this serious wedding ceremony but afterwards we better do something for me…”.
